Accept something that you cannot change, and you will feel better

Oh, Jeez. Where should I start?

Just from what has (not) happened this week....

The solenoid-valves and their vacuum tubing system. Can't fix it. Don't have enough time to, either.

Student coming tomorrow: He won't be able to work on the new high-temperature probe. It won't be ready in 4 weeks' time.

Master's student project: not going well. Cannot find the right redox couple. Don't have enough time to look into the problem. His new Faraday cage is almost ready, but the electrometer has not been ordered. Another delay.

Project money. Don't have the time to check and report changes.

Payment to a company in England. Haven't got around to checking if the payment has been made.

Project proposal. Needs to be done by next Tuesday. Thus need to be sent to everyone by Friday. This! I can do.

Time to drop everything else for the next 4 days.

By accepting something that I cannot change... does this mean I ought to give it up or do it later? I cannot give up on any of these that I have listed above. There are many more things I can add on the list if I include my private life side of "somethings." For one thing, I forgot that my husband's birthday is coming up. For the first time since we met, I forgot his birthday. I know I need to prepare my trip to see my parents, in what! less than 3 weeks. Not to mention the kids' school festival that I am in charge of. There are too many things and too little time. I have said this many times before, but this year, it's different. I simply have too many things to do.  I think this is the first time that working hard is not enough. Yes, there were times in my life that I couldn't get "everything" done. But at the same time, I knew that I could've done more if I had tried harder. This time, it's not the same. I am doing my best and all I can and it's just not enough. I can't. I don't have enough time.

I suppose this is the "something" I need to accept. I cannot do "everything."

Do I feel better? Umm, No.

But this realization forces me to make a priority list.

1. EU Project
2. Master's + Magnetometer (these two must be done in parallel)
3. DD's school festival preparation
4. Trip prep/National project, etc. etc.

So let's get them done. One by one.

Good luck is the result of good planning

This is wrong. There is a "chance" ingredient in the success obtained via "luck." So, no. The statement is wrong. But obviously, the author's intention was to use "good luck" to describe "success" and/or "fortune." I have also seen an idiom T-shirt recently worn by an innocent, yet misguided wearer that said "Winning is a habit. Success is a choice." Now that's a load of crap. Success may be the fruit of consecutive good choices re-enforced by determination, but certainly not one choice.

Tonight's point is: I am feeling the consequence of poor planning that is leading me away from any and all foreseeable success in the past few weeks.

In fact, it's worse than that. I see myself and those closely around me (at work) heading toward a big hole of failure.

I wan to jump off this train.

There, I said it.

I cannot stop the train. I don't know how to change the course without derailing.

Then which "luck" in its pure or in a metaphoric sense can I hope to obtain now? A pure luck will certainly come in handy. All of my experimental apparatus start working as of this week. But that's very unrealistic. Certainly it contradicts all what we know about "success." "Success" is the result of good planning. See above.

 Help from allies (colleagues)? Oh My. I have always been helped more than I have helped the others. Is it time to repeat? I am afraid so. But I need to propose my service in return. What am I good at?  Now I am whining. Time to start planning. Start choosing. I just asked all essential questions in this present paragraph. I need to get help. Know which help and from whom. and know what I can offer in return. The answers are there (in my head) and are clear.

Yes, I can change the course, I can fix the train, I can hook my wagons to another locomotive.

With this being said, I can go back to sleeping peacefully. Blogger is my therapy and in the comfort of knowing that I am the only reader (apart from a few random passers-by) I can become my own listening ears and a therapist. Good night.