If you want the rainbow, you must to put up with the rain. D. Parton

I cannot remember what my cookie said to me yesterday or the day before. But I remember that they weren't very rosy. Just like this one.

The trend has set in. I am getting grim, bleak and/or confusing fortunes.

I believed that I was done 'putting up with the rain'. That's what my last 8-10 years were all about. Please don't make me live under the weather any more. A fulfilling career in a neighborhood I can call home, with happy kids and a husband. I have the latter two. But the former two are very important, too. And I know my kids can be happy where I know I can be happy. It's always the husband (and his mom) who casts dark shadow over a woman's career path......

Get ready! Good fortune comes in bunches.

If I interpret this as my expecting, needy, predispositioned mind directs, I will receive two job offers and Bertrand one TODAY. OK, may be not today, and maybe not all of them on a single day.

Now that I am on my toes, waiting for an answer (answers) from the prospective employers, I have started searching for opportunities for my significant other half. I have come to a realization, yet once again, that he is not going to look for one himself, before declaring defeat. "Oh, there's nothing out there for me". I can see it coming.
So he applied for one job and he is waiting for an offer.
That's good. That's definitely, infinitely more than what he did 5 years ago.

Then after that one interview, he stopped looking. As if that was more than enough effort to please his wife. And that's exactly it. He just wanted to make me happy, showing that he cared. Showing a nice gesture... pretending that he had a real intention to move. I see it better now that he didn't. He is now gathering once again all reasons not to move. Same o' same o'. I won't live through another let down, honey. Unless the letting-down comes from my side.

I will ask one more time and come, follow me. It is not THE job I was promised 4 years ago. Far less glorious. But I had let go of the chance of my life as a researcher in an academic world. If he is imposing the same condition as he did 4 years ago, I cannot deliver.... largely because of him.
So here is the next best and that's excellent for me. Your call. Not fair? it has not been fair for me for the last 10 years, so please don't cry fairness for yourself now.

Keep your plans secret for now

Yes. That sounds logical. But from who? should I keep it away from my family, too?

Obviously, I am going to be bragging about it as soon as I discover what this 'secret' is all about. so there's no secret here. Well, nobody reads my blog except myself anyway, right. I suppose my secret is safe. I hope my plan will be the consequence of an email message that I will receive by the end of the day.

skill comes from diligence

speak truth, my friend.

I cannot just give up and saying that 'I am no good'. This is what we tell our kids everyday, too. How come nobody bothers to tell you these obvious truth once you are grown up?

By the way, I did get an email message just now, before the end of the day, that partially solved my problem. This was a good news. Small, but good nonetheless. I can sleep easy tonight.

Your past success will be overshadowed by your future success.

This is only getting better.

All cookies point to a one huge (relatively speaking) success in my future.

I cannot think of my 'past success,' but whatever it is referring to, it is nothing compared to what I am about to achieve. OK... perhaps it is not going to happen soon. Maybe it is going to come around in a few year, maybe decades.

It is annoying; however, I only get positive cookies when it comes to predicting my future. How come I don't receive negative, or boring ones? "Win some, lose some" "Your endurance will be tested" "A big loss may cripple your thoughts" etc? We all know the answer to that question. Because people will stop using this fortune cookie application if they don't get up-beat, bright and cheerful proverbs and predictions. Of course, of course. If I get one that says "someone close to you will die," I will definitely write it off and will not return to such a silly site. So they only give happy future, and some meaningful proverbs here and there.

I don't even know why I keep on reading these messages in virtual cookies. I need help?

Decide what you want and go for it

That's what I am saying!

2 goals: Relocation (back to the US) and a new career path (editor/writer/comm in Physics).

But for now, it is not up to me. I hope I will have my "Good News" soon.

Have I done enough? I don't know. I can always do more an I can always do too much or too little. I'll never know.

I am feeling better today.

Every Friend Joys in your Success

As I await for my future to prevail itself.... to some degree, this is a good one.

I have sent out three applications. Had one interview in a rush. Now I have to wait and see if I will be offered a job and a career path. My hubby also had an interview which he thought had gone well and we are on our toes on their response/decision, too.

It has been full 4 years plus a few months since I had been in this situation. Less desperate this time, perhaps, as I have a job that I probably will not lose if this mid-life career transition attempt does not produce a concrete and desired result. I am faced with an entirely different kind of problem, though. In the event that I do receive an offer (a big IF), how do I go about announcing my departure to the current employer and colleagues. Where I work, people do not leave their jobs easily. In fact, hardly ever! Every permanent staff around has been hired at an age appropriate for his/her career track (technicians were hired when they were 21-23, engineers at 23-26, and researchers at 27-35 years old) and .... well, never left. Most people in my work place have held only one permanent job. I doubt that my decision be incomprehensible to them, but it will come as a surprise, a shock and a burden. As nobody has ever doubted the presence of others around him/her, subconsciously or consciously, we all count on each other's presence a lot. And the hiring process of a new staff member is excruciatingly long and laborious. I have been (and still am, of course) afraid of making many people unhappy and being criticized for betraying their trust.

I thought of transferring the responsibility to someone else... my husband and say that "well he wants to move, so I follow," or flat out lie and say "my family wishes to have me back in the US." But THAT would not be very dignified. Not so long ago, I was advised to meet conflict with dignity. As stupid as it may sound (not the dignity part, but what I am about to write), I take these words to heart. That said, thought of facing and announcing my decision to quit frightens me. So this cookie is an up-lifting one. It maybe saying, and may not be saying, that I will be successful (in getting an offer or two) and people around me will be happy for me. Of course, it maybe saying, and may not be saying that the world around will be brutal toward my success and only my true friends will joy. A warning that this will be a rough ride, but focus on what people who matters to me think and learn to grow thick skin against those who will be disadvantaged from my success. Whatever the correct interpretation (and there probably is no such thing), a success is mine. And since I am so focused lately on a new career opportunity, I just decide that success means a 'job offer'. Let me leave it at that. Got problem with that? I didn't think so.